Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Just let the Huge Naked Dude sing.

I'm starting out with this video because I love it a lot. I think the moral of the story is just to let your large hairy neighbor sing in the shower without giving him a hard time or else your cat will wind up dead? I'm not exactly sure, but that doesn't stop it from being fun. And it reminds me of Les Triplettes de Belleville, which, if your movie is going to have to remind people of something, is not such a bad flick with which to be associated. LTdB also reminds me of Lance Armstrong. Mega-Biker Dude --> Tour de France --> Lance. Everything in life is a word/image association game.

And now, for a bit of a babble-fest (indulge me, if you will):

I'm sure that you all, like me, have discovered that almost everything in this current day and age that is designed to help us accomplish tasks quicker actually makes us less patient? It's really horrible. For instance, I am quite used to the speed of DSL now. When faced with a slower internet connection than normal (even if the difference is miniscule), I find that I CANNOT wait for the page to load, and so I start opening up other windows, like Word or Excel or my email program or IM windows - all at the same time, no less - trying to get other things accomplished while I wait the extra 10 seconds it takes to open the web page. It gets to the point where I have so many freakin' windows open on my desktop that I can't remember why I was going to that particular web page in the first place - that is, when I eventually remember that all this started after I lost patience with the slow-ass-ness of the connection.

And then I start doing REALLY stupid things, like chatting to my co-worker in one of the open IM windows about how our boss' lack of communication skills is really getting on my nerves - except it's not really my co-worker to which I'm babbling away, it's my boss (true story). Luckily I'm pretty good at BSing my way out of situations like that - "April Fool's!" - but I think I probably lost about 5 years off my life due to the speed at which my heart was pounding in my chest once I realized I had TYPED THAT TO MY BOSS!!!! All because I lost my patience at a slightly-slower-than-normal internet connection.

Anyway, my whole point is that these machines of convenience have taken over our lives and made us into a bunch of jittery, impatient, stressed-out workaholics. I long for the days of the Pony Express when it was perfectly normal to have to wait a long time (quite possibly months) for a deal to go through.

Well, not really, I love all these cool gadgets and would miss them if they were no longer around. I just wish that they didn't have to rule our lives so completely, due to the nature of our jobs or other things over which we have no control. Sometimes I wish that I could be a Buddhist monk and that my job could be listening to the birds sing and watching the snow melt. Or that my house would just burn down with all of my junk in it, forcing me to start anew. Or that I would be assigned a grave and important task, which I had no choice but to accept - that I would be chosen to take the Ring to Mordor.

Sometimes I want my decisions made for me. Sometimes I think living under an evil despot would be simpler.

But then I reclaim my individuality and revel in the uncertainty and mess that is life - until the next time I start typing in the wrong IM box. Doh.

One day, when I am debt-free, I will join the Peace Corps. Until then, I'm stuck with this technology stuff, 'cuz it's the only thing I know how to do well enough to support myself...

Monday, June 27, 2005

A Couple of Memes... and some Fun with Typing.

I've been having too much fun over the past few days, and my poor blog has suffered for it. But I'm back, and with a vengeance. I have been tagged, as you may recall from my last entry, by a book meme by Cate, so I will make a sorry attempt at continuing the meme in this post. Alas, I have also been tagged by a stress-lowering list meme by Kevin. So I shall make an attempt at that one as well.

Literature first!

THE BOOK MEME

The Number Of Books I Own
I just attempted to count, and got up to about 250 (both fiction and non) here in the apartment. But then I remembered that I have a few at work, a few in both cars, and some at my parents house. And I had to get rid of about a hundred before the move out to Cali. Why are books harder to part with than people?

Last Books I Bought
Well, I just put my copy of Harry Potter Number 6 "The Half-Blooded Prince" on hold. I haven't received it yet, as it doesn't come out until July 16th, but I think I'll count it anyway because I can't remember what I was actually buying while at Borders putting it on hold.

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Last Book I Read
"The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell
You can find this book in the Marketing section of bookstores, but to me it's more of a social studies book. It's an incredible read if you have any interest whatsoever in why we, as humans, do the things we do - why we like the things we like, why we communicate the way we communicate, why certain things influence us and why other things don't. As the quote on the cover says, it will change the way you look at the world around you. He's written another one called "Blink" that I've been wanting to get my hands on, but unfortunately it is not available on paperback yet, and, like Cate, I refuse to pay full price for hardcover books, no matter how great they may be. One day I will be rich and will be able to afford the library that I dream about almost daily, but for now I must choose my battle.s

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Five Books That Mean A Lot
Again like Cate (I think we must be long-lost cousins or something!), I'm not entirely sure what this means. Mean a lot to the world of literature in general? Mean a lot to my reading style? Mean a lot to my heart? Mean a lot to the way I view the world? I think I'm just going to combine the last two, and forgive me if I rush through this, but it's getting entirely too late - tomorrow's Monday, damn it.

"The Stand" by Stephen King
I read this book while balancing on the cusp between childhood and adolescence (I was reading at a college level in 5th grade, what can I say?), so it will forever be a part of my being.

"Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal" by Christopher Moore
This is one of the smartest parodies I have ever read. It's amazingly funny and detailed - and touching as well. This is the image of Jesus I grew up with - a guy who accepts every person, every religion and belief, every extreme of human behavior. I have yet to read any other Christopher Moore book, but if the rest are anything at all like this one, then I will promptly announce to the world that this man is a genius.

"Writing Down the Bones" by Natalie Goldberg
This is not the best book out there for writing tips, but it is the best for getting your pen off the desk and into your hand. It's quite an inspiring book for a first-time creative writer - for someone who feels the writing bug in her bones, but doesn't know where to start. A great jumping-off point, to be followed up with something more in-depth. Unfortunately I haven't gotten to that next step yet, although I did also enjoy Stephen King's advice in his book "On Writing".

"The Dancing Wu Li Masters" by Gary Zukav
I am morbidly afraid of numbers, but I love the theories of physics (at one point I wanted to major in astronomy - until I realized that there was way too much math for my feeble, word-oriented mind to grasp). Especially quantum physics and mechanics. I am attracted to the non-linear world that quantum mechanics presents to us. How something that is not even connected in a physical sense can still have an affect on something else a world away. The possibility of an infinite number of parallel universes (is that the plural of universe??). The branches of a life. I think this is why I love the internet so much as well - the way I can go to one site looking for one specific thing, and yet that site can lead me on a path I never expected to take. The uncertainty of the next page - the surprises just around the bend, dependent on which path I decide to tread, which link I decide to click. How all things seem interconnected, and how something totally unexpected can lead me back to the place I was before. An infinite number of paths I can take to arrive at the same conclusion. I can't think of anything more exciting than that!

And the Band Played On: Politics, People, and the AIDS Epidemic" by Randy Shilts
I took a class in college called "Human Sexuality". It was offered through the Educational Psychology department, and it was a GREAT class. Not a blow-off class, but a serious study of how sex, the stigma of sex, and the diseases of sex affect our culture. One of the excerpts we were assigned to read was from this book, and it grabbed me, completely and inescapably. Because of this book, I have volunteered for a variety of different HIV and AIDS related non-profit organizations. Because of this book, I have handed out condoms and life-saving information in gay bars in Austin, TX. Because of this book, I have been sentenced to Hell by Christians who stand on street corners judging people from behind the safety of their out-of-context Bible verses. If I have helped save only one person's life because of this book, then Randy Shilts is a saint.

One Book That I Would Like To Burn
Honestly, not a one. Even if I don't like or agree with the words contained within, I love ALL books. Besides, I will need all I can get my hands on to fill my most-awesome future library. I need to own enough books to justify those spiffy rolling ladders, after all. Do you remember in Disney's animated Beauty and the Beast when the Beast shows Belle the library? Well, that's going to be MY library some day.

People I'd Like To See Waste Some Time On This Meme Nonsense
Mungo
Magazine Man
Kevin
Radioactive Jam
Demosthenes


Well, that took longer than expected. On to the stress-reducing list (technically - The Anxiety Meme). Here are the specific directions from Kevin:
List five things you enjoy, even when no one around you wants to go out and play. What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level? Make a list, post it to your journal, and then tag five friends and ask them to post it
to theirs.

1) Take a walk and admire the: flowers/leaf-less trees/snow/neighbors' yards/whatever makes me see beauty in the world.
2) Take a nap. I love to sleep and can be out like a light anytime, anywhere.
3) Watch one of my favorite movies - any Lord of the Rings or Star Wars installment will do the trick.
4) Read a short story that's full of hope.
5) Think about how much worse it would be if I: lived in the Darfur region/got in a bad car accident and became paraplegic/lost my loved ones in a tsunami/was attacked by zombies (hey, I just saw Land of the Dead okay? Zombies freak me out).

People I'm tagging with this one:
Cate
1GloriousConundrum
Demosthenes
Radioactive Jam
ScroobiousScrivener


Before I go, I have a fun game for you guy's to play. Fair warning: it's a typing game - quite addicting and surprisingly tough. I always thought I was a pretty decent typist, but when faced with sharks and man-eating piranhas, my skills suffer. (Click "play online" on the right oops- I mean LEFT - side of the page.)

I'll leave you with a composite photo emailed to me from Radioactive Jam:

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There's a headshot for ya, Kevin - as well as a nice combo pic of both the Ms. Marvel costume AND the mMdS shirt for you, MM :) I think this shall be my new uniform.

'night....

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

I won something! Party at my place!!

So much to do - so little time, so little sleep. I often wonder how someone such as Magazine Man - an editor at a Big Magazine with a wife and two kids - has time to write such awesome blog entries. What is your secret, MM?

So I won a t-shirt from Cate over at my Mom dated Spike by correctly guessing that the number in her head was "42". We must have the same taste in books. Speaking of books, she has tagged me with a book meme, which I had seen floating around somewhere a few days ago, so now I am obligated to complete my first meme. Hopefully by Friday.

Here's a couple of pictures of me in the shirt especially for you Cate:

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Voila! I have crossed two stepping-stones today: 1) I got tagged by a meme, and 2) I have posted my very first personal pics. I shall have to make a special mark for today in my calendar.

Now, on to the good stuff!

First, a very funny video from the Jimmy Kimmel show (via Metafilter). Edit: sorry for the broken link, it seems that Jimmy's bandwidth has been exceeded! Maybe try clicking later, 'cuz it's worth it. Second Edit: try this link if the first one still doesn't work. Oh my, did I just use "funny" and "Jimmy Kimmel" in the same sentence? Oh, that was mean. He's not too bad. Considering I never watch late-night TV (too many blogs to read, duh), I am not qualified to make judgements. All I know for sure is that this video made me laugh multiple times. Therefore, it passed my "good enough to blog?" test. Enjoy... multiple times, if you are at all like me.

Holy duct tape prom dresses, Batman! And I though duct tape only came in the lovely dull gray color! You learn something new every day in this world.

Remember how I'm getting a little nervous about "Big Brother" and our government? Well this guy's story is pretty freaky. But I have to wonder - what exactly was depicted in the pictures? I didn't feel like doing enough research to figure it out, and he only says "Bush and guns". But were the guns actually shown killing the President? Because I could certainly see how that would upset the Secret Service a little, no matter what the current situation. Still, I like the guy said, I don't know why they'd have to come to his house, when they could just do a background check on the artist. (BTW, I really hate that the initials for the Secret Service are "SS" - that's freaky.)

Still on the subject of government smack-downs, more info on the Chinese blogging ban. They are now not allowed to use "freedom", "liberty", or "democracy" in their blogs. That really really sucks for them. And it also really really sucks that American corporations are playing along just for money. Wouldn't it make an even bigger statement if, in protest, MSN decided NOT to host Chinese blogs? I'm sure the company would survive. And, as much as I admire the effort and the cause, I have to wonder if projects like this one are going to be beneficial or detrimental in the long run? What if China tries to enlist other governments to crack down on this stuff? What would we say? "No, biggest and scariest country in the world with nuclear warheads, I don't think we will comply - let the bloggers blog, fer chrissakes!" I don't think so.

And in other news, nutballs in the UK have discovered a few pretty random entrances to Hell. This is the kind of stuff I truly enjoy. This is the kind of stuff that brings us all together and makes the world a better place through internet living.

Now, to close, I actually have a question to pose to those of you out in the audience tonight. How does one find the best airfare rates for flights from LA to London for travel dates in late August? I've tried all the usual routes - Orbitz, Travelocity, etc. etc. etc. - and the "cheapest" one I've found is $950 (including all taxes and fees). I find it hard to believe that that is the cheapest flight to London when I remember only a couple of months ago there were advertisments for $300-$350. I'm considering not going if I can't find anything cheaper, and I would feel guilty about that, as I promised my volunteer services to a friend who runs a non-profit organization there. But I would very much rather save my money to fly to New Zealand, or somewhere that I really really want to vacation, rather than blow a grand on flying to London when I'm not even going to be able to tour the city much during my stay there. Help!

Off to finish my work project before the sun comes up - I believe I'm going to be forced to staple my eyelids open, and I haven't had to do that since college.

Should be fun....

Sunday, June 19, 2005

My Kneecaps Hurt.... and other tales of the Weekend.

Have you ever spent all day on a Saturday in various states of kneeling and squatting while attempting to assemble two 10-foot, three-dimensional, corrugated paper cacti in the heat of the So Cal sun (no, there weren't any trees around)? Well, let me be the first to tell you that you haven't lived until you've done so. Yes, that's what I spent 9 hours doing on my Saturday. I did so many squats that the friction of jeans against sweaty flesh rubbed the top layer of skin off my knees. A few more minutes of that and I think my kneecaps would have caught fire.

Here's a picture of how the cacti were meant to look when completed (thank God there were no boots or sheriff's stars involved or else I would have gone stark raving mad):

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Needless to say that mine did not turn out quite so riculously cheesy nice. I am the farthest thing from Little Miss Arts and Crafts that you could possibly imagine.

I got suckered into this gig by volunteering to help a lady that I hardly know set up a Fiesta-themed party at her gigantic-ass house. I was secretly hoping for an invitation, as she is famous for throwing excellent parties that rage long into the night. I figured I'd be stringing chili-pepper lights and hanging pinatas. Absolutely no corrugated paper cacti were mentioned in the job description. I wonder if there's a party decorator labor union to which I could report this incident?

At least I learned something from the experience: 1) I'm getting too old to bend and unbend 10,000 times in a day, and 2) if anyone ever mentions corrugated paper decorations, run like hell away from the crazy bitch/bastard. Oh, and 3) I HATE double-sided tape. Plus this chick had the nerve to comment about how she couldn't believe it took me ALL DAY to finish the damn things. Spoiled bitch - hasn't worked a day in her life, yet possesses the nerve to make a comment like that. I seriously wanted to burn the whole place down at that point. Or at the very least chuck the precious cacti into the negative-edge pool. But I held back. Although I did stomp on one cactus a couple of times, so it will forever bear an imprint of my Nike running shoe. Revenge is sweet.

I won't go into the horrendous blow-by-blow account of assembling the cacti, as I would like to forget the experience as soon as my body stops aching. Let's just say that it was a massive undertaking, starting with 4 blank white cardboard cactus shapes and ending with what you see pictured - or something close to it anyway. It's the cheesiest decoration I believe I've ever seen - and guess what it costs? 180 DOLLARS - for a few pieces of cut cardboard, a very large roll of double-sided tape, and multiple green corrugated paper rolls. I mean those supplies must have a cost all of, what, $15 tops? What a rip. Some people just have too much money and not enough taste.

And of course that bitch didn't even invite me to the party. Well a big "Fuck You" to her and her cactus decorations. I'm planning to sneak back over there some evening when she's passed out from one too many gin and tonics and build a big cactus-engulfing bonfire. Following day's news headline to read:

Fence-Hopping Lunatic Carries Out Secret Vendetta Against Billionaire Heiress
Suspect flees the country as heiress mourns the loss of her favorite paper cacti: "I am completely devestated. They were the absolute hit of my party! I had become so fond of those two cacti that I even named them after my dear, departed collie dogs. It is my deepest desire to see this criminal punished to the full extent of the law!!"

When asked how she had failed to noticed the 20-foot cactus funeral pyre accompanied by shrieks of "Burn, baby, burn!", the sunglassed heiress refused to comment. Her nearest neighbors did notice the ruckus but just assumed she was having a party celebrating women's rights.

The suspect, believed to be traveling under the pseudonym Carol Danvers, faces a sentence of 6 months to 5 years in the state's correctional facility for those who commit crimes against corrugated paper decorations. That's 6 months to 5 years of daily construction of various and sundry corrugated paper decorations, in the hopes of one day being rehabilitated back into a corrugated paper-loving society.

"People like this Carol Danvers person are monsters with absolutely zero concern for the welfare of others. She deserves the death penalty."


Sunday I babysat for my friend's 2-year old daughter. Now you're probably saying to yourselves, "Damn, that sounds like an even crappier job than assembling gigantic corrugated paper cacti in the afternoon sun while kneeling on a stone surface!" But it's not. This kid is amazingly cool. I took her to the beach in Malibu, and she just sat there for like 2 hours staring at the waves and the surfers and the seagulls. It was only her second trip to the ocean and she was mesmorized. I must say that I share the feeling 100%. Having now lived in a place where the ocean is never more than 30 minutes away, I am afraid that I'm spoiled for life. The ocean touches my soul in a way that no man-made lake in middle-America ever could. It's truly a "connected to the Earth" feeling that only few places can inspire. I fear that I will never again be able to fully exist in a location too far away from an ocean.

Oh, we had an earthquake last week. It was my first relatively big one since moving out here. It was actually sorta fun, and nothing fell down. It was definitely an odd feeling - something that I've never felt before. Rolling side-to-side, up-and-down, and back-and-forth all at the same time. Hard to describe if you've never felt it. I was disappointed that not even one book fell off the shelf though. But perhaps I shouldn't tempt fate, eh?

Hasta manana...

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Well I'll be gosh-darned!

I kind reader just informed me that I have apparently hit the big time (albeit in a small way). Will, the most excellent author of the Clicked blog on MSNBC.com, has linked to me today. Holy crap that's cool. Here are his exact words:
And for the record, that dear reader who sent me the mail about that item a million years ago was Carol. You rock!

No, Will, YOU rock. No I mean it. I'm not fuckin' around. And, needless to say, I'm pleasantly surprised that 1) you actually read AND REMEMBER all your email, and 2) that you took the time to link me. Rock on!

The ultimate point being, there may be some newbies dropping by for commenting. If so, please play nice, and accept them into the fold. So, are we like blog buddies now, Will? 'Cuz that'd be just super cool. You should really let people post comments, because that would be just super cool too - and I'm sure it would cut down on your influx of email. Probably some MSNBC hang-up though - not your fault.

You know what's really weird? I just did a spell check with Blogger because I was certain that I had spelled "apparently" wrong, but wasn't sure what needed to be fixed (turns out that I hadn't, but it sure looks wrong to me - do you ever get that feeling when you stare at a word for too long and it starts to look wrong? Well I guess that's happening to me right now.). Anyway, I find it funny that the word "blog" and "blogger" come up as being spelled wrong on a tool used for blogging. And you know what the suggested replacement word is? "Bloc" - I didn't even know that was a real word.

Now I'm just babbling because I really don't have anything too wonderful and exciting to say right now. I know - it's a bummer, huh? I do want to point to one interesting article posted today on MetaFilter. I found it fascinating. Especially the part where it says:
As she systematically analyzed the brains in her refrigerator

It must be pretty cool to have brains in your fridge, ripe for the analyzing.

In closing, isn't this one of the coolest things you've ever seen? I'm not even a very big Predator fan, and it just blows my mind. How'd you like to run across that guy in a dark alley? Or in a jungle.

That's all....

Monday, June 13, 2005

Freaking CRAP!

Do you ever get that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when you've written something great only to realize that you've somehow lost it in the netherworld of the internets? I wrote an awesome post this weekend, saved as a draft to post when I got back from Houston (which, BTW, was INCREDIBLY hot and humid... me, being used to So Cal weather now, had completely forgotten how it feels to melt into a puddle of human goo on the pavement). And now the most awesome-est post ever is missing. Yes, missing. Stupid Blogger got hungry and ate it I guess. It just couldn't handle that much awesome-ness, methinks.

So, I'm in kind of a bad mood, being exhausted from travel and work and pissed about losing the most bitchin-est post of my life (actually, it wasn't that great - I don't think I'm capable of true great-ness, though I will settle for mediocrity on a grand scale). Now I don't know what to write about. I just recently read Cate's list of 100 things over on her blog, and I am inspired to try that someday, if anyone's interested, but not today. I just don't have the time nor the energy to delve into an assignment that complicated right now. I will think on it, compile my list and determine if it is interesting enough to post within the next few days/weeks.

Here's just some silly links in no particular order and with no witty remarks. My brain hurts too much to even try to bring on Teh Witty:

Daily Dancer - the blog of a man who dances... daily. Trying too hard to win internet geek fame like the Star Wars Kid? Maybe. But still fun.

Ouch. This is the part of the story that sucks. No one who has been beaten that badly needs that kind of shit said about him. Oooohhhhh - he got a lap dance while at the club - what a bad boy. So was he lying? Who knows. All I know is that people can be really mean - whether it's actually beating someone all the way to the borderline between life and death, or writing mean comments about how he deserved it, or getting lap dances and lying to cover it up - it's a depressing story.

The Picture of Everything. Bad ASS. And say it with me, "Someone has way to much time on their hands." What would the world be like if these people didn't exist?? Very boring to say the least.

This is what I wish I had time to do now and then:
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Can I just say one thing before heading off to sleep? I AM SO INCREDIBLY SICK OF MICHAEL JACKSON. I wish the news would talk about something else. I wish they would talk about stem cell research and how our country is falling behind. Or about the ridiculous-ness that is Real ID. Or millions of other more important issues. Good thing I get my news from internet sources. But what about those people who don't - those people that only rely on television news for their information? It's scary to realize how much I truly did not understand about the world around me during my time as part of the ignorant masses - and I don't use "ignorant" as a synonym for "stupid", but as a way to describe the tunnel vision that so many people adopt by just swallowing whatever the television tells them, without seaking out alternate opinions. It amazes me how some of the most brilliant people in the world can be so stubbornly ignorant.

I'm in a weird mood, better get off of this thing before I say something I regret...

P.S. A friend just IMed me this as we speak. DAMN. There's some really cool shit out there....

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Insert witty remark here.

I'm going out of town for 4 days. To Houston, TX. In June. I'm planning to sweat off at least 10 pounds. We'll talk more upon my return - gotta catch a plane in T-minus-5 hours...

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Time for a new entry.

Now is the time to replace my last entry with a new one. I think it was making some people uncomfortable :) So, what's on the menu today? Let me check to see what interesting links and/or pictures I have piling up...

Hold up, stop the presses! News from the Apple front. Apple is going to start installing Intel processors into their computers? Why exactly? Maybe in order to make a really powerful processors for the PowerBooks, as I know they've been having problems upgrading to a G5 PowerBook due to not being able to adequately keep the heat level down on the G5s in a small area (or something - can you tell that I'm not really very techie?). And from reading the first article on that list, I see that my hunch was correct:

As for why Apple was making the shift, Jobs pointed both to past problems and to the PowerPC road map, which he said won't deliver enough performance at the low-power usages needed for powerful notebooks.

Two years ago at the same conference, Jobs introduced the first G5-based Power Macs and promised developers that the company would have a 3GHz PowerMac within 12 months. The company still doesn't have a machine that fast. "We haven't been able to deliver," he said. Nor has Apple been able to introduce a G5-based laptop--something Jobs said "I think a lot of you would like."


Interesting news. I'll guess I'll stop by some Apple blogs, such as the Cult of Mac to check out the word on the street.

More on the news front: this time of importance for Los Angeles inhabitants and their... uh, packages - Study Finds Genital Abnormalities in Boys. No wonder there are so many large cars and men who like to show off their money in the LA area. This explains EVERYTHING.

ACK - no more legal weed! (but there are some extremely funny comments in that thread, if one has the patience to sift through it all) And no, I don't agree with this ruling, in case you're wondering. And it's not because I may - or may not - like to smoke a little now and then - no, it's because I think this is just a silly thing to waste a law on. I mean seriously, morphine is an illegal drug and yet hospitals are allowed to supply it - and in strong doses too! What the heck is wrong with allowing doctors to prescribe a little weed to get someone over a rough patch? Eeediots

Here is my last batch of Star Wars related links for now (I promise - although, fair warning, I have been known to break promises now and then) - these were just too good to pass up. This first one is a game of Twenty Questions sponsored by Burger King that has been making the internet rounds. Think of something really really obscure and see if he can guess it... it's pretty amazing. And very addicting.

A freaking hilarious parody script of Revenge of the Sith. Even though I enjoy the movie and have seen it twice more since the last time I mentioned it, I still think the glaring plot holes and general idiocy of some of the scenes are fun to laugh at. Oh, and I thought of one more question - how can a space ship, which is out there in zero-gravity space, start sinking like a ship on the sea? Exploding? Sure, although I really don't know how fire burns without any oxygen - but I am very very confused about that sinking/falling thing...

On the same note, even though the writer seems to hate SW with a passion, this is just darn funny. Especially lines like: "Even worse are the idiots who scarf down these sub-childish morsels of comedic relief, playing into Lucas' shallow theatrics so easily that you could sell these people hookers in a vagina storm." Sometimes I just need a little vulgarity in my life. (Oh man, I certainly hope no one finds their way to this blog by searching "vagina storm" expecting, well, a storm of vaginas - please accept my apologies if so.)

More information about the guy genius who brought us The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster.

So I'll end with one from today that made me really think. It's about China's newest attempt at internet control. I was wondering, does China block all internet sites that are not originating in China from being viewed in the country? Because what's to stop Chinese immigrants to, say, America from writing and discussing whatever the hell they please about the Chinese government, which people who are still living in China can read and participate in? Looks like bloggers and online journalists with a dissenting opinion are about to start disappearing from China. Oh yeah, and...

pleasedon'tletthishappeninAmerica, pleasedon'tletthishappeninAmerica, pleasedon'tletthishappeninAmerica...

Time for sleeping - hey, look at that, it's only 11:20 - much better, now we'll just see if I actually go to bed, or if I just fart around for a couple more hours - I think I have some Buffy to watch...

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This is Buffy getting ready to kick my ass for staying up too late, and then having the nerve to whine about how I'm soooooo tired the next day. Oy....

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Finger Masturbate Shopping

Sometimes I check my blog stats, just for shits and giggles (I use Sitemeter, which is pretty much useless because most visitors just come up as "unknown" - but it's free, so I can't really complain). I'm not too anal about it - I only check a couple of times a week, mainly to see how people are finding me. Not that very many people are (which is probably a good thing), but it's still a fun way to see the results of the randomness of the world. I don't really wander around the internets and erratically pimp myself out by posting comments on countless other blogs like some people do in order to get traffic - I only post at the ones I truly enjoy reading (and I email to Kevin at kapgar.com because he absolutely refuses to put in a comment feature ;-) - please take note of the wink, Kevin!) - so I like to see what exactly leads people to drop by my little slice of web real estate. Oh, and by the way, there are quite a few other blogs and sites that I enjoy - I'm pretty much all over the place when it comes to browsing, and I should probably start adding them to my links list for others to enjoy as well. It's always fun to read someone else's different take on the same world.

Anyway, the whole purpose of the preceeding paragraph was to announce that someone found me yesterday by typing in "finger masturbate shopping" in a Yahoo search. Surpisingly enough, this blog apparently comes up second (EDIT: Huh, would you look at that, now it's coming up first - how weird is that??!!) when that particular string of words is typed in, but only when using Yahoo. A Google search using the same words doesn't even show it in the first 10 pages. Talk about random. I can't help but wonder what he (or she) was looking for. I'm thinking that they probably didn't find it here. Too bad, but this is just not that kind of blog. FYI: Nothing came up in a GIS (Google Image Search for those of you who hate acronyms) using those words, unfortunately, or I may have posted it here, which would most definitely spice the place up a bit.

In other news, I think I'm going to try this advice on how to become an early riser. I'm addicted to self-help books/tips, but I can never seem to follow through on anything. My sleep patterns are getting way out of hand (for instance, today I didn't get out of bed until 1:30 PM - no joke), and I think a lot of the stress and out-of-control feelings I've been having lately can be helped with better sleep. Hopefully it will lead to better use of my awake time as well.

Speaking of sleep....

Thursday, June 02, 2005

It's Trout Fishing in America time.

Today was a good day. As I was wading through the mountainous pile of spam messages in my Hotmail inbox this afternoon, I came across one piece of mail that was NOT SPAM - joy of joys! What was it, you ask? It was my monthly Trout Fishing in America newsletter. And just what in all tarnation is Trout Fishing in America, you ask? Some sort of club for... well... for trout fishing aficionados? No, silly. It's a musical group. Well, more like a musical duo with occasional guest musicians. Don't laugh, they are cool. Well, maybe not cool so much as talented. And very very very cheesy. Mmmmm, cheese.

Seriously though, Keith and Ezra (love that name - Eeeezzzzrrrrraaaa - it just roles right off the tongue) are a couple of the best bassists and guitarists around. And they are very nice. And I've been listening to their music since I was a kid (they write a lot of kid's music and have even been nominated for a couple of Grammies for it), so it brings on a nice sense of nostalgia when I listen to their music. Unfortunately, I haven't had a chance to go see them in a while - or even listen to their dulcet tones on CD for that matter, seeing as my parents are hogging all their CDs from me and refuse to adapt to technology enough to burn a couple for their favorite daughter - don't you just hate grumpy old-timers?

Anyway, reading the newsletter reminded me to look on iTunes for them, which I thought was a lost cause, due to that fact that they are nowhere near mainstream. But apparently a lot of their fans are hippy Apple-lovers (not unlike myself), so I guess they were able to get EVERY SONG THEY EVER WROTE OR COVERED (well, pretty much) onto iTunes! Yippeeeeeeee - I'm in the middle of a downloading whirlwind. I don't know how to link to the iTunes store directly, like Shane Nickerson does, but if you have iTunes loaded on your machine (and if you don't, WTF dude?), search for Mandaddy - if I was forced to choose a favorite TFIA song, that would be it. It doesn't really show off their musical prowess quite as well as something like, say, Ode to Big Blue, in which the musical melody is played entirely on Keith's stand-up bass, imitating the sounds of a dying blue whale perfectly - or their cover of Buddy Holly's Not Fade Away - but it is my fav for sentimental reasons (I named my first car Mandaddy). Give them all a listen! And more if you want... and no, I am not being paid to say these things.

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If you're not suffering from TFIA overload yet, here's a good review of one of their first albums.

TFIA Forever...

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Okay, now I'm feeling embarrassed for ranting.

I was skimming the New York Times the other day and stopped to read a little bit about the conflict in the Darfur region - I won't link to the exact Op-Ed piece because the stupid NYT requires membership to read, which is really annoying if you aren't a member; suffice it to say that it was a rant geared towards the US government and how Bush has not mentioned the word "Darfur" in 141 days (oh hell,I can't explain it very well, here's the link for those of you who have NYT access) - and it made me feel really guilty about stressing out over my silly, insignificant-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things problems - and submitting you, my very few regular readers, to that baggage. So I apologize.

Nothing to see here, move along...

Footnote: I was checking the news today and saw this announcement on the aforementioned conflict. Wow, that's weird - I had just read an Op-Ed in the NYT about Bush's silence on Darfur and then the very next day, the silence is broken. Interesting... good thing this is not a political blog.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: If anyone surfing through is wondering "How can I help?", you can submit donations at www.darfurgenocide.org (thank you for the link, Mungo!) or www.savedarfur.org.